What do you call a cat with a live in doctorz?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?" Jo
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today? (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka. (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well I quit! (Kid) Quit What? (Bus Driver) Living. (Kid) But it was a joke! (Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die but you will still be alive. (Kid) Ok (Bus Driver) That was a joke too!
you know what the difference between kobe bryant and russel westbrook, he wears 0 and kobe has 0 lives left
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents. " Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white." The mother rushes the boy to the hospital while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm. "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" He exclaims. The wife looks up at him. "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection."
Most controversial types of matter: 1. Dark matter 2. Anti matter 3. Black lives matter
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Dont take drugs kids! Me: my therapist says i need those to live D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escourts to school counselor_
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day. Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
I love Alabama. I live their. I have a sign that says Sweet Home Alabama!
what do you call a house with noone living inside? a orphan house
why is bieng alive so expensive im not even having a good time
Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)
At least he got D.L.A. Disability Living Allowance so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there