Like jokes
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
Like and comment if you play Fortnite!
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .