Like jokes

Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?

He likes to hit small white balls.

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.

Why is it okay to hit orphans?

It's not like they can tell their parents.

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.

Like if you like Logan Paul, dislike if you like Jake Paul.

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.

Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?

What do you call a train that likes toffee?

A chew-chew train.

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.

I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!