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Shooting

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

Chicken

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

Fireplace

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Cowboy

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

Music

I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!

Robot

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

Gut

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

Orphan

Why are orphans so bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house looks like.