Like jokes
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
Memes
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .