I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.
Like Jokes
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
I want coffee like my men.
Dark.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Like if you hate going to school.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
