Like jokes

COVID-19 is like pasta.

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

Jokes are like Indians.

They never die, they just get reincarnated.

How is a priest like a wristwatch?

They both start at 12.

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"

The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."

The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger.

Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.

25 at a time.

The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.

Black and bitter.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.

What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.

Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.

Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?

Because they are afraid of American airdrops.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.