Like jokes

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?

He likes to hit small white balls.

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.

Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"

The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."

The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger.

Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.

25 at a time.

The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.

Black and bitter.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.

What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.

Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?

Because they are afraid of American airdrops.

Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.

Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."