What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Like Jokes
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
I like dick.
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
Me: "I like kids."
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
UU looks like boobies, hehe.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Would you like to eat some African food?
So would they...
