Like jokes

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.

Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.

I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.

"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.

"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

Why did God create yeast infections?

So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.