Like jokes
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
Person: Why? You: No.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
I like trains.
*train hits him*
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.