Like jokes
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
Memes
Name: Ace/ Age: 6 weeks/ Breed: Pitbull mix Mastiff/ Like if he is cutee
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
I like turtles.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.