Like jokes
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Memes
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
Withered Bonnie, more like Bonnie Mcnutt!
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."