Like jokes
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Memes
Name: Ace/ Age: 6 weeks/ Breed: Pitbull mix Mastiff/ Like if he is cutee
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
Withered Bonnie, more like Bonnie Mcnutt!
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?