Like jokes
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.