Like jokes

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.

What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.

Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.

Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.

My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...

It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.

Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!

Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/