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Orphan

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

Alien

Things said by racist aliens:

"Some of my best friends are Green."

"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."

"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."

"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"

"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."

"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"

"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."

"Get out of my store you grigger!"

"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

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  • Goat

    What do you call a fantastic goat?

    Goatastic! So funny please like.

    Cat

    How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

    You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"

    Sayori

    DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."

    And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...

    On the floor.

    And died.

    The end.

    Bro

    Bro wtf is all this!?

    Like fr tho none of this be funny... messed up af to joke abt sum shii that ppl go thru.

    Dad

    When you say to your dad...

    AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    Dad be like...

    Who wants my son?

    Nan be like, "Me!"

    Kid be like...

    AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!

    What are roux, says nan?

    Um, they're your life savings!

    Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"

    Adoption

    So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

    Rape

    How do you rape a girl?

    By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!

    Car

    A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.

    The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."

    The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."

    The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."

    The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."

    The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."

    The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."

    The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."

    Health

    Health commercials be like:

    Serious side effects can cause:

    Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!

    Guy

    What do you call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer?

    Rocket League!

    (Ali A Intro)

    I like men.

    Wanna smash?

    Suck my balls.

    I'm in class as I'm posting this ass joke.

    This joke sucks terribly.

    Honestly just like and leave.

    Add me on discord.

    IceyTrae#2230

    Lebron>MJ

    Child

    What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?

    The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.

    Hair

    Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.

    Zoo

    Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)

    I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.

    9/11

    Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.