Like jokes
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.
I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
Fuck clankers. Wait, not like that.
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
Hey, I met you like way way back, just like your hairline.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
What do all rangas have in common?
They all look like wildfires.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️