Like jokes
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
Jeremy likes to kiss men. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
Imagine being gay like Joe Mama!
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.