Like jokes
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Am I the only one here?
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
This joke is short... like your dick!
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
I like Cheetos.
I like peanut butter and honey.
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.