Like jokes
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.