Like Jokes

Why would Tommy kill Philza's wife just to make Phil believe she didn't exist?

LIKE AND SUB IF YOU LI/j

Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?

They like to bone a petite.

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

To the mew-seum!

The image is split into two sections. The top section shows a young man jumping on a skateboard. The text next to it says "WHAT I THINK I LOOK LIKE". The bottom section shows an older man in a crouched position riding a skateboard, with the text "WHAT I ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE" next to it. The image is a comparison of perceived versus real skill of skateboarding beginners.

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.

I like rocks, specifically Jeon Jungkook's rock hard abs. 😉🤭🤣

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.

2 weeks here.

What do dicks and popsicles have in common?

They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.

Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.

Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.