Like jokes
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
Teacher: We are going to Seville.
Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!
Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.
Omg thanks for 1000 likes!
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Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.