Like jokes
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
Memes
Fair point.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.