Like jokes
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.