Like jokes

A man and a woman are watching clouds together. The man says, “Hey, that one looks like a giraffe!” The woman agrees and says, “That one looks like an elephant!” The man sits up and says, “That one looks like a mushroom.”

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.

Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.

What TV shows do orphans not like?

"Family Guy."

Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?

Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.

Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.

A cat in the desert be like:

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.

The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.

What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."

Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?

A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?

"I look like an umbrella."

I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.