Like jokes
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's fingers!
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
Would you like some wine with those French cries?
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
Hey guys, I just wanna say what happened to Kanye; he is one of my favorite rappers, and he’s going through a hard time. I don’t see why people can’t just spread love and kindness like me💕
I think that Kanye was right to say what he said. I completely support him, and I don’t understand why people hate on him for using his 1st amendment, and Yeezy should be sued for it.
Quote of the day: Love bests hate as for hate is the killer of friendships - Collin Kaepernick