Like jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

Why do kids like to pick on orphans?

Because they can't call their parents.

Your mama has slept with so many guys, she's starting to look like one.

Relationships are like fat people.

Most of them don’t work out.

Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.