Like jokes

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.

Would you like some wine with those French cries?

Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.

Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.

Hey guys, I just wanna say what happened to Kanye; he is one of my favorite rappers, and he’s going through a hard time. I don’t see why people can’t just spread love and kindness like me💕

I think that Kanye was right to say what he said. I completely support him, and I don’t understand why people hate on him for using his 1st amendment, and Yeezy should be sued for it.

Quote of the day: Love bests hate as for hate is the killer of friendships - Collin Kaepernick

Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.

Your hairline is built like a license plate.

The pie tasted weird today.

Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.

Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"

The girl says, "Just like your face."

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.