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My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

"Chelsea is the most consistent team.

One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.

If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." πŸ˜…

Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.

These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.

You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ’€πŸ€¨πŸ†πŸ’¦πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ€¨

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survivedβ€”my grandpa. The others have fallenβ€”his friends.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.

What is everyone’s favorite class?

None, because people don’t like school.