What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was, like, with one, and she kept on saying, "I'm too young."
"Ukraine looks like Fallout 4, woah!"
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: ðŸ˜
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
Like if you think someone is gay.
Like and comment if you play Fortnite!
Like and commet if you will be my friend
Like, and comment if you're single.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
You fighting? More like you're dying!
This Anonymous guy is acting like Hitler, bro.
What do all rangas have in common?
They all look like wildfires.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
