Like jokes
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Like if depressed.
Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.
Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.