+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
1 like = 1 more child in my basement.
1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Like if you are straight; comment if you are LGBTQ+; dislike if you are a Nazi.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Your hairline looks like Thanos snapped your hair out of existence.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
