I like tortles.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?
Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
