Like jokes

I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

Do you like fish sticks?

If you do, you're a gay fish.

I like my women how I like my fridge.

In the kitchen.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.

FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.

"Send me back, I never liked you."

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)