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Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You canโ€™t beat it, but if you do, sheโ€™ll probably come back again.

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  • Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.

    Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a โ€œno solicitingโ€ sign on their front porch.

    One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."

    The other said, "Really? I like my bed."

    I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

    Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.