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Grandma

26 views ·

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol."

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

You: "Your mom gay lol."

Brother

81 views ·

I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.

Haircut

25 views ·

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

Doctor

4 views ·

Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.

Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!

Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.

Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.

The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.

Doctor: I will... dad...

Tq for reading my crappy joke.

Asian man

115 views ·

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.

The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."

The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."

Mum

8 views ·

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

Chat

19 views ·

Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.

Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: You can't!

Stranger 2: You can.

Stranger 3: How?

Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.

Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.

Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-

(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)

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  • Football

    1 view ·

    Doctor, what is wrong with me?

    You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

    9/11

    3 views ·

    9/11 is like genders.

    There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.

    Suicide

    27 views ·

    Me and a person downtown.

    Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

    Me: I guess so.

    Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

    Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

    Person: Why'd you stop?

    Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.