Like jokes
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.
Give me the most likes on this site.
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.