Like jokes

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!

LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

I raped a girl and I liked it.

I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.

It felt so wrong, it felt so right.

Don't mean I'm in love tonight.

How are gay people like mice?

They both hate pussies.

How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Frenid: R u gay?

Me: Yes u

Frenid: No I am bi.

Me: Dang it!

Frenid: What?

Me: I like u.

Frenid: Ok I like u to.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.

Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

What would the world be like without women?

A pain in the ass.

What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.

Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

What color flowers do mama cats like to get?

Purrrrrrrple flowers.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!