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Razor

  • There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

    John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

    Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

    John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

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  • Regret

  • What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

    Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.

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    Body

  • Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

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    Tower

  • Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

    North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

    Sex

  • If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

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    Reminder

  • Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

    Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

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    Life

  • Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

    Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

    Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

    My life is like... the shoe rack-

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