Like jokes
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus
Dislike if: - You are horny.
Make this the most liked comment!
(I'm a girl btw)
;)
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
Hi, I like food.
A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.
Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.