Like jokes
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
I like balls.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Why do orphans like to be gay?
So they can call someone "daddy."
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
I like dick.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
An old man gets a call from the IRS.
The man on the phone says, “We’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly, and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office, and the man there says, ”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies, ”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says, ”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says, ”Alright, last chance. I bet you 50,000 I can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible, so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agent’s desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “Haha! I got you now!” But the man's lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands, and says, “He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Why don’t orphans like baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.