Like jokes
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
Why do orphans like to play Minecraft?
Because they like to have a home.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.