Light jokes
You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?
Lights are hanging.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.