Life jokes

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They can't see their family.

What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.

Why would a cannibal stop eating people?

If they got fed up with them.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Not to see his parents.

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.