I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
Life Jokes
My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to see his parents.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
What’s the difference between you and an orphan...
NOTHING!
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
Your life. That's all.
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
