Life jokes
Louie's parents tried this.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!