Life jokes
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!
What goes up but never comes down?
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
Memes
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
What’s the difference between you and an orphan...
NOTHING!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.