Life

Life jokes

Male

    • I'm just gonna say it, and don't get offended, but I'm so sick of the media being on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

    Yes, women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth, etc.

    But men have it pretty hard too, if not harder. Males are criticized for showing emotions.

    Men have to go to war on the front lines.

    Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

    Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer, meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

    Man-rape is unheard of in the media, and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

    We are expected to gather up our guts [and] ask a girl to be their girlfriend. We have to take them on dates, pay the bill, [and] buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months' worth of the money the man has made.

    And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

    It's because most males do not want females to get hurt, yet we are criticized for this.

    I propose an idea that on the 19th of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work, etc.

    Who's going to put out all the fires? The two "firewomen" at the local fire station? Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?

    Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.

    (This event can be done worldwide.)

    Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

    (I'm not against feminism; it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

    But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want, and never get criticized or face any consequences.)

    Age

    • I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

    Sister

    • I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

    Banana Peel

    • There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

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    • Life memes

    Creator

    • Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

    The creator's son tried that!

    (My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

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    • Chocolate

    • My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.

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    • Suicide

    • What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

    I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

    Poker

    • Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

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    • Adoption

    • One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

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    • Perception

    • Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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    • Suicide

    • Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

    *Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"

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