Life jokes
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
Murueurx.
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
MWAHAHAHAHA
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
You die. LOL!
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.