Life Jokes

Literally every movie:

"I love you" "I love u too"

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes u!" Him: "wtf I have a grilfriend sorry not sorry" His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country". 😶

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it....

Shit I’m never gonna try commit suicide again ,I almost died

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke life fucks your until you stop breathing,a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore

what do you call a depressed person's life

at this point, non-existent

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020 My attempt in 2021 And my attempt this year

we sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave eric and dylan a shortcut

Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.

All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

Rape the only sign of world peace in this life.

Wanna hear a joke,my life hahahah just kidding jokes actually mean something...

I respect anyone who devotes there life to charity work

But I think Paul walker went a step to far

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

I hope Death is a woman. That way it will never come for me.

I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life