Life jokes
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
I'm the joke, bitch.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
This definitely works
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."
Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."
Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."
Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."
You gonna poop someday.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!