Life jokes
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.