When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied
My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio face: Tell a truth tell a lie tell a truth tell a lie tell a truth
Why did a orphan say I'm wanted? because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico
one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him. "You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
The cheetah had a race with a lion and the cheetah won, lion was like why you always a cheetah the cheetah was like why you always lion (lying).
Kid: Mom! You lied to me! Mom: when? Kid: you told me that my little brother was an Angel! Mom: Sooo? Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony? Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "everytime someone lies, it ticks once, Mother Terresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, " Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
You were amazing....Sike I lied that pussy is dry
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...a girl scout that got hit by a car
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy
How do you annoy Pinocchio? Ask him "Do you always tell lies?" (think about it)
What is blue, green, flat and has teeth. The earth but I lied about the teeth
A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
Q: why was barbie kicked out of the toy box A: she sat on pinocchios face and siad "lie to me
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
Hey~ How ya doin'?~ Well I'm doin' just fine~ I lied~ I'm DEAD inside~ Don't~ Tell me 'it's gonna be alright'~ I've tried, but I can't fight like this~ Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight~
