Lesbian jokes
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.