Lesbian jokes
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!
š¤ ā How do lesbians š³ practice safe š sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their š š š mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
Why do gay men and lesbians believe that bisexual men don't exist because there is no such thing as male bisexuality?
Because it doesn't cycle š².
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Girl: You are gay.
Boy: Who says Iām gay?
Girl: You ARE GAY!
Boy: You are lesbian.
Crowd: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbhhhbhH
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period?
"I will be back next month."
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.