Legs jokes
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
What did Britney Spears’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they’ve never met
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.