A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
Legs Jokes
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
