Legs jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Memes
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.