Legs jokes
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.