Legs jokes
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What time is it when you get home?
What has 2 legs and walks? A human.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
What is your car's name?
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
What is a dog with only two legs? A human.