Law jokes
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
What is one good thing about child molesters?
They drive slow past schools.
Why was the belt arrested?
It held up a pair of pants.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
They aren't wanted.
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.
Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?