Law jokes
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
Why did the orphan want to go to jail?
So he could have a home and be cared for with food.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.