Law jokes
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
Rape is not a joke.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.
The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"
Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"
I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!