Law jokes

If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

I took my mother-in-law out today...

I love being a sniper.

"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."

Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?

The damages are severe.

Why was the belt placed under arrest?

For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

I don't got free candy. It costs child support.

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?

A. There was a daycare on the other side.

How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.

Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?

Because they weren't even wanted.

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

Who robs and breaks into people's houses?

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Why did the police play baseball?

Why?

He wanted to play catch.

Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.

There was a big problem yesterday.

My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.

Why did the orphan want to go to jail?

So he could have a home and be cared for with food.