Law jokes
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
What do you call an orphan at a construction site?
Child labor.
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be wanted.