How do you get away with rape?
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.
And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.
And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.
Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Cruel and unusual punishment.
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
