Law jokes

Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

Why do orphans become criminals?

To feel what it is like to be wanted.

Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!

What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

Only one is wanted.

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.