I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
Law Jokes
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
