Law jokes

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.

Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.

What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?

A holy CUMmunion.

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.

I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.

Why are orphans never in jail?

Because they're never wanted.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

You call it a school shooting.

I call it an unfair shootout.

I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.