Law jokes
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Memes
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be wanted.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
What's America's best class?
Gun 101.
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they like to feel wanted!
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.