Law jokes
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.