Law jokes

I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:

"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"

The girl, showing her arm:

"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

Why do the police never catch the orphan?

The orphan is not wanted.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.

If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?

Because who wants a traffic an adult?

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

What is George Floyd's pickup line?

You are breathtaking.

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.