Law jokes
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
She said no, so I raped her.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.