Law jokes
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.