Law jokes
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!