Law jokes
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
What is the difference between human rights and the rights of a human being in?
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
What is the difference between the human rights act and the rights of the earth?
Human and the earth earth is a good earth 🌎 was that what time do for dinner 🍽 night night love 💗 night night fun day and dinner 🍴 night night fun day home 🏡 night is it a great 👍 home 🏡 was the day I love 💕