I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
I find all these obese jokes horrible.
Don't you think they have enough on their plate?
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Whats red, six inches long and made my girlfriend cry when i fed it to her? her misscarrage
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Luckily for your mirrors can't talk and luckily for you they can't laugh either
you know, 9/11 jokes arent funny, their just PLANE wrong
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
