Laughter jokes

What is a Russian joke?

Something that will be funny for Russian people.

An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.

The world is a freaking rape joke.

I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!

Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.

Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.

He didn't get the job.

Me and my friend were duck hunting.

He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

How many wives does Santa have?

Ho Ho Ho!

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

What did the watch say to the failing watch company?

"You better watch it!"

Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.

*Takes huge bite of air.*

Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."

"Oh, cool."

"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense."

"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

"Where's Trump's clock?"

"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!