Laughter jokes

What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.

That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)

It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.

I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"

She started crying.

What did the cow say to the fat pig?

Moooooooove over!

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.

It's just too tear-able.

What's white, red, and screams a lot?

A baby in a blender.

What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!

What did the cow say to the sheep?

“Moo!”

What did the sheep say to the cow?

“That was a bad joke!”

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.

I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!

— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?

— No.

— That's the spirit!

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody finds that one funny.

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!

(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!

(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.

So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.