Laughter jokes
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"
So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."
The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.