Last jokes
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
Memes
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
What were Steven Hawking’s last words?
ERROR 101.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅
That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)
When is the last time you picked up the phone?
There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
Wanna know the last words of the south tower?
"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"
Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.