Last jokes
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
Memes
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
What were Steven Hawking’s last words?
ERROR 101.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)
When is the last time you picked up the phone?
There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.