Last jokes

Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

What were Steven Hawking’s last words?

ERROR 101.

I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?