Last jokes

There were three men, and two of them died.

The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"

Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

What were Steven Hawking’s last words?

ERROR 101.

I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅