Last jokes

Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

Starters - Foreplay

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

Dessert - Blowy

Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...

"It was just a prank bro."

Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?

Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.

I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!

What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?

"Last night I had a meme."

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).