Last jokes

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.

As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...

"It was just a prank bro."

Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.

I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."

I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

I had a dream I was a muffler last night...

I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.

What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?

"Last night I had a meme."

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"